The co-dependent - Treatments : Villa Ramadas

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The co-dependent

Co-dependency can be defined as emotional dependency, and there are those who call him «love drug», «psychological intoxication», among other names. The drug of choice is indeed the people.

The co-dependent is someone who resolutely abandon their own needs to take on the task / mission needs of the suppression of others. It's an extremely anxious person, who is involved, often with people suffering from personality disorders, difficulties with impulse control or substance dependence, deforming the parameters of this relationship and the term itself.

The "parasites" of love, are also known as the co-dependent, show an absolute dedication, which must be matched by (a) loved (a), love is obsessive, the change seen as a risk - which is why support indefinitely a problematic relationship, and often chaotic - and lack real intimacy.

The co-dependency has its genesis in a psychological wound, in some cases due to physical abuse and psychological, sexual abuse ... that conditioned the subject to create relationships of submission and passivity. It is a chronic progressive disease which leads to destruction, whose symptoms are similar to those of PTSD, and may also lead to substance abuse, diseases related to stress and frames of an excessive aggression.

Co-dependency can be primary - the first signs appear in childhood - or secondary - if changes are later. Regardless of the antiquity of co-dependency, denial and constraint of emotions are a constant, as well as hypervigilance. Control is one of the patterns of co-dependency. The patient feels an uncontrollable urge to always know where the (a) loved (a), with whom, doing what ... Seeking self-esteem through personal control and the other, even in the face dire consequences. In fact, patients co-dependence do not develop their personal identity, thinking that do not exist without the other, and hyper-reactive to all that is external and hypo-responsive to his world and his inner reality, being absolutely careless .

Co-dependence is similar to other addictions, including by "driving" it feels from the reaction of another person, the growing need for her presence and more time spent together (going into relief when it is not possible) the risk of loss of self, critical ability, with shame and remorse, the trail is looking to open links of this type.

The codependent subject to all for fear of losing love, of being abandoned, rejected, with dread of separation, distance, loneliness. Completely devalues ​​their feelings, and guilt and anger are faithful companions. Nevertheless, the dependent affective still think it would be a despautério meet their needs and desires, which would make him, in his own design, one being selfish, demanding, petulant. Thus, breaks down into steps supposedly altruistic, being greatly hurt when others refuse their help. Nothing he does is enough and seems unable to accept a recognition or praise. The priority is what others think and feel about yourself, more than himself. Not be considered a person of value and worthy of love, turns out and totally abdicates often than they like and gives you pleasure in terms of what others want and need.

The co-dependency may appear in conjunction with depression, anxiety disorders, mood and personality and with other models of dependence.

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